Labs versus blue heelers

So Sweetheart leaves for 1 hour this evening, on a very important PetsMart trip.

While he is away I decide that I must water the front yard and save Anita's (newly relocated writer and FF's sister), GIANT BEAN! I adore Anita and she seems to have given Sweetheart the Last Giant Bean Plant on the planet when she came here from Mississippi. I forget that the water hose is connected to Faulty contractor faucet and is in the backyard with dogs, I forget that Dogs have a huge dirt pit dug under Faulty out door faucet (that leaks) located under the Rose of Sharon bush that we inherited 7 years ago, that grows out of the foundation, AND NO ONE CAN KILL.

Sooooooooooo, I water the Bean for 5 or maybe 7 minutes, go back thru gallery and kitchen to backyard to turn off Faulty faucet and I no longer have white labs I have Blue Heelers. There is so much mud on Gess and Tugg, at first I thought they were Black Labs, then I noticed that only their Legs and Faces were black, and the rest of them have what they call in the south "ticking".
My back door was muddy, even the window.............
,
Me "Sweetheart is gonna kill me."

FF (cooking us dinner in our kitchen)" He will never KILL you, he adores you, it took him 40 years to find you, he would never kill you, no matter what!"

Me " I don't know this is pretty bad, just look at them".

FF ( looking out as Gess is up on the door ringing a 108 year old door bell).
" oh gawd this is hysterical", while hysterically laughing (thanks sister).

So Sweetheart comes home,
and I confess to every thing, it is all my fault, I am so sorry, Sweetheart just says

"What is your plan for this?"

Me "I am thinking they could just dry off, it is so ____ hot, and then we could just brush all this mud off them".
so we wait.
Finally, they look pretty crusty,
I cover myself in bug spray for the mosquitoes ( which of course does not work, Sweetheart says it has to do with pheromones, whatever) we are out back with 2 brushes (one cost $40.00) and dried mud is going nowhere, mean time, I have at least 400 M.bites just on my legs.

Me "This is not working, do you have a plan?"

Sweetheart "Yes, we Wash them".

So it is now 2 hours later, I made it through washing Tugg, my baby boy, but Sweetheart is still washing Gess. I could not participate in the Gess washing because Tugg cries if me and Pack Man (Sweetheart) and Alpha sister are not with him ( he and I are the Beta's).
So that is why I stay with Sweetheart,
and Aynex,
get over it!